Somebody Save me…

I find that in this world we are smacked in the face with new demons every day. As more things in my life reach the surface I find myself barely staying afloat. Why? Why, does everything have to just always be so damn complicated? Like can’t we just live? Can’t we stop the worry and fear for all that is around us ALL the time? I feel, I fear taking one step forward because I end up falling 10 steps behind. I have dreams, I have ambitions, I have a purpose. I am spectacular, and I know it. There is more to me than just being a female in this seemingly apathetic world.


I crave to feel the bones and joints that I hide beneath my skin. I no longer feel like I belong within myself, let alone in this world that trapped me in. I wake up, and find myself wondering, effortlessly, lost within the time. I do not think that anybody, has the strength to make it out alive. I do not feel that I make sense around all the people that I know. I feel that I am screaming from top of my lungs, hidden by the shadows of the normalcy below. I cannot seem to grasp the concept that no one understands my tone. Why I feel like something is so hilarious? but I laugh at it alone. I will never seem to comprehend why the way my mind is, never matters. instead I know you mock my actions from the bottom of the shadows. I wish that for once I would open my eyes and feel the sun and love upon my face. Instead… here I am, broken and torn by the raptures of this place.

If I could simply put into words, the things that I just want to say. Maybe then I could be understood, enough to make it through the day. I feel as if I am lost at sea, trying to swim my way back home. I paddle just as hard as I can, but I know I’ll die alone. My words are tied to me like an anchor, every phrase pulling me deeper in the oceans black abyss. You still don’t hear the things I am screaming, I can’t let you see me like this. As I am left to sink to the bottom, my thoughts still heavy at my feet. I feel the utter suffocation, as the water and my lungs, meet.

All I needed was some validation, and someone to let me know my voice was heard. Instead I let the anxiety hold me down, and sanity go absurd. There must be more to life than this, I can’t keep living by the moment. I know that I am worth so much more, than a daily dose of torment.


Stand Tall

Grasping air to pull myself, from the world so filled with darkness.

How have I allowed the corruption around me, drag me down like this?


My nails penetrate deep within the surfaces around me.

Trying to crawl from the all the pain that I have let embalm me.


Everyone can physically see the battle, that is leading to my downfall.

I wear my heart upon my sleeve, and no one seems to care at all.


I will give you every fiber, that makes me live and breathe.

You will take and use it against me, my inner core you thieve.


I crawl above the surface, nails now broken down and cracked.

Everything that you think of me, is the reason for strength I lacked.


I will pull myself upon my knees, hold my nubs of fingers in the air.

Even if I lack the power, to pretend that you’re not there.


For I hold a sense of selfless pride, when faced with my own defeat.

Even if I lack the courage to stand upon my own two feet.


Buried deep within this shattered being, a broken soul is kneeling.

Each and every single day, I am just one step closer to healing.